Sex Quotes and Sayings

"if you are fat, no matter what you wear, nothing is going to make you sexier"
-- Steve Austin --

Were kisses all the joys in bed, one woman would another wed.
-- William Shakespeare --

There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large .
-- Woody --

Molly Notkin often confides on the phone to Joelle van Dyne about the one tormented love of Nokin's life thus far, an erotically circumscribed G.W. Pabst scholar at New York University tortured by the neurotic compulsion that there are only a finite number of erections possible in the world at any one time and that his tumescence means e.g. the detumescence of some perhaps more deserving or tortured Third World sorghum farmer.
-- David Foster Wallace --

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
-- Aldous Huxley --

sex concentrates on what is on the outside of the individual. It's funny because I think it's better inside.
-- Alex Walsh --

Great sex is great, but bad sex is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
-- Billy Idol --

Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called "making love". Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said "sex is good". All available evidence, however, points to the contrary.
-- Bongo --

Although humans tend to view sex as mainly a fun recreational activity sometimes resulting in death, in nature it is a far more serious matter.
-- Dave Barry --

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.
-- Frederike Ryder --

Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people so ugly you wouldn't want to touch them in the first place?
-- George Carlin --

Sex is one of the 9 reasons for reincarnation, the other 8 are unimportant.
-- Henry Miller --

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other
-- Jane Austen (1775-1817) --

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
-- Mark Twain --

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
-- Matt Groening --

I like it when people have sex with me.
-- Sad, Sad Skater (Justin) --